Divorce is never fun. However, there are better and worse ways to pursue the process. This means working within limits. It might mean shouldering a massive degree of professional communication and simple language. It might mean limiting contact where necessary or having the process take place in separate areas between parties. There is no ‘correct way’ to go about divorce, as both parties will often be looking for a certain amount of ground to win.
However, if unduly regulated, this can often be a difficult thing to achieve. It can cause no uncertain amount of stress, angst, unhappiness and general anxiety. For this reason, it’s important to know how to act. Past toxic behavior, there is no regulating authority that demands you must be an absolutely standout person during proceedings. Under such pressure, it would be difficult for Gandhi to achieve this. However, you can certainly temper your worst temptations to insult or be petty by regulating yourself with patience. Patience, patience, patience, is the golden virtue of divorce, and here is why:
It’s important that in divorce you listen more than you talk. This doesn’t mean being stomped over. It means accurately assessing the situation correctly, and carefully measuring your response. Take the sensitive issue of spousal support. This could be a messy circumstance for both parties to argue over. However, with the ability to stay patient and calmly listen to all that is said, you can accurately identify your response.
You might find a happy compromise. The general civility of the discussion might lead to confessions being made that allow the situation to seem more rational. When you are patient, it’s hard for this to not rub off on at least the opposing solicitor. Solicitors are ready for a fight in the name of their client, especially when it comes to divorce. By showing yourself as the mature and level-headed party, you win no uncertain amount of respect from both sides of the professional field. This can only work to your advantage, in situations where it might need to.
Patience does not only translate to listening. It also allows you to be more flexible with the terms that exist. The truth is that divorce takes a cost not only on your emotional health but on your financial standing and maybe even ownership of certain assets. In order to mitigate your losses, compromises must be found. Being patient means coming to a solution between parties, and being able to correctly discuss your requirements in a civil manner. If you are met with unfair resistance, there is nothing looked upon more kindly by a rational judge in a family court than someone who has tried to pursue positive aims already.
Adapting to the many twists and turns of divorce proceedings means keeping a clear mind, opening yourself up to the circumstances around you and develop a much more involved understanding of your rights and abilities. All of this will only be achieved when you have patience, so be sure to take this virtue as armor and you will soon come through the other side with a smile.
GetConnectDad is growing at an incredible pace because parents are actively sharing what we are doing with their friends and families. We are so thankful. If you would like to receive a bi-weekly summary of articles like this, please fill out our subscription form below. We are very careful to limit the number of emails we send per month because we, like you, are busy parents!