Everything we do requires patience in one form or other.
From childhood, we are taught to be patient.
Child: I’m hungry
Parent: Food is coming, be patient.
Child: I want to be a grown up
Parent: Be patient, you are a child once and once only.
We didn’t listen to our parents, what makes us think that our kids will listen to us. In the end, they will have the same regrets we have.
Why didn’t we listen to our parents? Why didn’t we enjoy our childhood to the utmost? Why? Why? Why…???
It’s the circle of life. It’s the part of us that needs to keep moving; to see what the future holds; the curious nature that has made us into this great species. Sadly, we can’t stop time.
We idolize the impatient, up to a point of watching them triumph or fail on reality television because they can’t bring themselves to take the time to learn more than one skill that could make them into a bigger success. We live in a society where; if you haven’t become successful by 21 you are a complete failure. How did that happen?
I must admit, I like their positivity, it’s almost contagious, but let’s be honest, it borders on the delusional. Okay, that’s that rant over and onto this week’s theme.
How do I teach my children to be positive?
That’s a difficult one, especially when there is a lot going on. Winter is coming; the days are getting colder and shorter; and then there’s school and homework. Thankfully, none of that really affects me significantly. With the approach of winter, we brighten things up with lights, Christmas, and presents.
I try to convince my kids that homework is not a chore. It’s practice to make them better. I said “try,” not that I was successful!
What does work for my kids? When we (the parents) come home with a little bit of research to do, it helps my kids see we don’t shy away from a bit of homework. They seem to take some inspiration from it.
My partner started a new job a couple of weeks ago and she came home with reading material and exercises that had to be done on the tablet. The kids lapped it up. They were fascinated that mummy had homework to do and just got on with it. What an example!
They questioned her; did she like having homework, why did she get it? And many others I can’t remember and she gave them positive answers. “I need to learn this so I can do my job properly” and “I must pass all the tests.” Her perspective and example did more than any “teaching” I could do. “I enjoy doing my homework because it’s making me practice what I have done today,” she tells them.
She’d come home after her day’s work and get asked how she did on her tests. “Passed with flying colors!” she would reply!
It’s easy to let life come down on you and get in the way, to see the cup half empty. It’s easy to give advice as well. The hardest part about parenting is to make everything seem like it’s okay.
As a parent, I don’t want my children to worry about anything except school, homework, and friends.
As I mentioned in my post about being personable, my eldest had an incident at school. In front of her, we were calm, we asked her questions about what happened and who it could have been. We spun it around on its head; they are jealous.
Does that ever work? I know when I was having a bad time that never really worked. So we changed our line of questioning: Have you done anything for anyone to hate you? Do you insult anyone? Do you try and be bossy? Between shrugs and negative responses she perked up.
The hard part of it all is answering why would anyone do something so mean and hurtful.
There might be a million reasons and where do you start? We didn’t want to dismiss it by saying they are mean or other parents are giving them bad examples. We don’t know these people, could they be going through a hard time and the child is lashing out?
I’m shrugging as I write this.
We’ve seen it time and again; the story where the mean child has issues that they don’t know how to express. They don’t want to be seen as weak, so by lashing out, they are giving themselves a quick fix. Whatever their problem is, that’s between them and their conscience. All I care about and I’m trying very hard to do, is show how much my children are loved and cared for.
They have a safe haven at home where all their quirkiness, eccentricities, and kookiness are loved and encouraged.
The world doesn’t matter when they are home, it’s our bubble and they are safe.