Finding meaning through Focus

I am pretty sure the word “focus” comes out of my mouth on a daily basis. I say it whether it is about homework, sports, chores or even just eating dinner. I am pretty sure the word will haunt my boys for the rest of their life, like my grandfather’s “priorities” haunts me, in a good way of course.  Focus is such a beautiful thing and still yet so elusive, especially in today’s information overload culture.  In sports, we call it being “In the Zone” it is a beautiful place to be.  Everything slows down; the world disappears, and all that exists is you and the game.  Whether in a game, cooking, doing homework, or sawing a piece of wood, there is a peaceful tranquility when we focus.

Focus is such a beautiful thing and still yet so elusive, especially in today’s information overload culture.  In sports, we call it being “In the Zone” it a beautiful place to be. Everything slows down; the world disappears, and all that exists is you and the game. Whether in a game, cooking, doing homework, or sawing a piece of wood, there is a peaceful tranquility when we focus. Now getting a rambunctious eight-year-old and a twelve-year-old surfer dude to focus can be challenging at times. The same can be said for some of the kids I coach. A lot of times parents put kids in sports because they are at a loss with what to do with their energy. Right now I have a kid like that on my basketball team. He is a sweet kid, but one moment he is looking and listening to the next, boom, he is on Mars, chasing imaginary butterflies and running in the wrong direction from which I just told him to go. Let’s say he has heard focus a few dozen times from me already this season.

Now getting a rambunctious eight-year-old and a twelve-year-old surfer dude to focus can be challenging at times. The same can be said for some of the kids I coach. A lot of times parents put kids in sports because they are at a loss with what to do with their energy. Right now I have a kid like that on my basketball team. He is a sweet kid, but one moment he is looking and listening to the next, boom, he is on Mars, chasing imaginary butterflies and running in the wrong direction from which I just told him to go. Let’s say he has heard focus a few dozen times from me already this season. I will admit it can be trying at times, and when dealing with other people’s children you have to be extra careful. He has tested my patience, but I am stubborn as a mule and refuse to be defeated. So I keep working with him, giving him the same direction for the 3,493,212 time and using different approaches to get him to focus a bit. Thankfully this past Monday at practice the first few steps in the right direction happened. During practice he was engaged, after I had to redirect his attention a few times, he scored twice, grabbed rebounds and played defense.

I will admit it can be trying at times, and when dealing with other people’s children you have to be extra careful. He has tested my patience, but I am stubborn as a mule and refuse to be defeated. So I keep working with him, giving him the same direction for the 3,493,212 time and using different approaches to get him to focus a bit. Thankfully this past Monday at practice the first few steps in the right direction happened. During practice he was engaged, after I had to redirect his attention a few times, he scored twice, grabbed rebounds and played defense. The reaction inside of me is to jump and scream for joy, but you can’t do that. I gave him some positive reinforcement when he did things, and after practice, I talked to him for a quick minute. I told him “Great practice tonight when you focus you do great. Keep working on focusing.” He looked at me with his wide eyes and nodded in understanding. He was very excited and proud of himself after practice. His teammates were high fiving him and encouraging him when he scored. You could tell he had been waiting all season to get that feeling of accomplishment.

The reaction inside of me is to jump and scream for joy, but you can’t do that. I gave him some positive reinforcement when he did things, and after practice, I talked to him for a quick minute. I told him “Great practice tonight when you focus you do great. Keep working on focusing.” He looked at me with his wide eyes and nodded in understanding. He was very excited and proud of himself after practice. His teammates were high fiving him and encouraging him when he scored. You could tell he had been waiting all season to get that feeling of accomplishment.Focus as simple as it might sound is not something you can truly teach or show someone. It is something so internal and personal that all you can do is lead the kids there, give them positive reinforcement when you see flashes and hope they find that peaceful place inside of themselves and that they get determined to reach it again. With some kids, it is a little easier than with others, but it is within all of them.

Focus as simple as it might sound is not something you can truly teach or show someone. Click To Tweet

Focus, as simple as it might sound, is not something you can truly teach or show someone. It is something so internal and personal that all you can do is lead the kids there, give them positive reinforcement when you see flashes and hope they find that peaceful place inside of themselves and that they get determined to reach it again. With some kids, it is a little easier than with others, but it is within all of them.

Why does it matter? Why is being focused so important in my opinion? Well; you see once you find your private place of focus something beautiful happens. As they get older and they learn how to access this place, when the focus becomes a tool at their disposal that they can summon at will they find something there. As those bright eyes and easily distracted kids learn how to access that focus they will find something that is priceless. Once you find your focus, it will lead you to your passions, and once you find your true passions, well, let me tell you something, once you find your passions then you will finally feel truly alive.

@GetConnectDAD is an international project focused on One goal:  More ConnectDAD families.   We are 150 writers from around the world, focused on 52 Traits we want in our children.

Each week, parents from around the world are writing on a specific topic as part of a year’s worth of introspection on some key traits we want to consider for our kids.

Our writers answer the question, “What do you do to teach your kids about Empowerment, Generosity, etc?”

We understand that no one can focus on 52 unique traits; however, we hope that parents are able to think about each of these ‘traits’ as they are introduced and consider what they are doing to introduce components to their kids.

By |2016-12-12T14:56:49-05:00December 9th, 2016|Categories: 52 Traits, Be Focused|Tags: , |