Our studio apartment is set up. My parents are watching my son while I work. It is time to be focused on what I need to complete. Time to get my son into a daycare program. My parents are moving to California. Researching (more than two, but not a lot of) daycare’s in the area, I decide on Cinderella Care School. This daycare is open 24/7 and provides breakfast, lunch and dinner. As one would expect, with me working overtime it will h
“Leaving my son at daycare, is making me feel guilty.” I had to focus though.
Unfortunately, leaving my son at daycare, is making me feel guilty. I understand it is good for him to interact with other children his age. However, for three weeks he cries as I leave him there. For my son it gets easier, as he makes friends. As for me, racing from work at the end of my shift to pick him up, he is happy to see me, but I am tired. I tell myself to stay focused. To see clearly and to pay attention, to the difference of what my son wants and what he actually needs.
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“Is The Daycare Replacing me?”
Then it happpens, he isn’t ready to go home. Feeling my son does not need me anymore, I get tears in my eyes. Is the daycare replacing me? It happens more over the next few months. I am tired and worn out, and need a rest. Trying to be mommy and daddy is taking a toll on my way of behaving. Being a grouch and yelling at the smallest things, is not good for us. It is time to let go.
“The truth hits me all at once.”
The truth hits me all at once. I am focused on what my son actually needs and what I need is helping us both. Actually, my son understands I am not going anywhere, that I am there to pick him up without fail. Being at the daycare is making him become less scared to be away from me and be more independent.
“I am focused on what my son actually needs and what I need, is helping us both.”
Cinderella care School, provides bowling, swimming, ice skating, roller skating, pre-school teaching ans a lot more. I understand I do not have to pick him up after my shift ends. Now shopping and errands after my work shift can be a normal thing, and I can relax. Therefore, there is no need for me to feel guilty.
All things thought about I understand, he is learning and experiencing new things and is having fun. No need to hurry and no need to worry. By the time I get there his friends have left and his fun things are done. My son says, “Okay, Mommy I am ready!”
“I miss my family, I miss my son, can I visit?”
Everything is going well, and my soon to be ex-husband telephones. He says “I miss my family, I miss my son, can I visit?” Visiting with his son is important. Denying him visitation is wrong. Answering him I say “Sure why not”. However, it can only be you and no one else. We can do it next weekend.”
“Why is Daddy coming?”
Deciding to go to McDonald’s, I pick up my son. I explain “Daddy is coming to see him. He turns his head, looks me in the eye’s and says “Why, is daddy coming?” I tell him “Because he loves you and misses you.” He says “Doesn’t he miss you too Mommy?” I reply “No sweetheart daddy does not miss mommy.” “Remember I told you that mommy and daddy does not love each other anymore, but we love you?” He says “Oh yeah you told me that, I forgot.”
“I have Primary Custody, and you have visitation.”
At this point, I have the divorce papers. I told him “I have Primary custody, and you have visitation.” However, so you understand why I chose this, let me explain. My soon to be ex-husband is a drug user, maker and is verbally abusive. (He is now doing 650+ years in prison) I will explain this later. Anyway, I am determined and I stay focused.
“Stay focused and stay determined. Don’t look to anyone else to be your determination – have self-determination. It will take you very far.”. Justice Smith
Achieving Your Goals and Objectives
How to Stay Motivated
The first month my soon to be ex-husband’s visit is once. Strangely the second month his visit is twice, and now every weekend. He signs the divorce papers. However, so you know I almost did not have him sign them. I was one of those women who loved their husband, even when they were being (treated or used in a very mean, unfair way). Believing that things could change. For this reason, I stayed focused and figured out on my goals.
“I stay focused and determined.”
All things considered, I make sure they can enjoy their visit. However first (and most importantly), I make sure my son is protected. For instance, I go with them to the park, but wait in the truck. I go with them to McDonald’s, but eat by myself.
To Be Continued…
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