For all the moments I hate when I know I’ve let you down by letting myself down.

There are times when I wonder would this fatherhood thing be any easier if I had a father around when I was growing up.
Would I know what to do and get it right the first time instead of the second, third or even the fourth time. Then when I finally do get it right, I left wondering, without a father of my own, am I appreciating and dissecting all these moments that make good and even bad memories, even more.

There’re times when you’re testing the boundaries, pushing the limits. When I feel my rage is becoming distant on the verge of being lost, my patience is thin to the point it’s transparent.
I wonder am I cut out for this?
Am I fit to be your father?
These are the times when I’m usually tired, exhausted yet I still have to keep calm and my patience on an even keel.
After all, you’re growing up, taking it all in.

I sometimes forget that we’re both learning.

The simple things I do so easily that I take them for granted I’ve come to realize these are the things that make you struggle.

I remember watching you crawl, then eventually walking in a weird unsteady kind of way. And now we’re holding hands running at Noah speed.

I guess we are both teachers a well as students.

Sometimes I shout at you, but instantly hate myself as I look at you with your hands over your face.
Then I want to hold you with hopes of turning back the clock for just a few minutes.
Are my expectations too high for you?
Am I trying too hard to make things happen?
Should I just let this growing up thing happen in due course?

Then in an instant, you smile, sometimes even laugh, and I realize right then that I am doing something right.
You’re my world Noah noo.

What is GetConnectDAD?

@GetConnectDAD is an international project focused on One goal:  More ConnectDAD families.   We are 150 writers from around the world, focused on 52 Traits we want in our children.

The GetConnectDAD team would like to challenge every parent to:

  • Devote 1 Extra Hour of Time each week to your kids (uninterrupted)
  • Read 1 story or have 1 story read to you by your child this week 
  • Take 1 Walk outside with your partner and kids
  • Take 1 moment to say “I love you” to your kids
  • Hug your kid(s) 1 time this week