I never thought I’d meet a messier eater until I met him of course, as on occasion at feeding times he’ll feel the need to charge at me with hands caked in tomato sauce.
Whenever he catches me secretly eating he insists on having a bite, and if it’s not to his acquired taste he gives it to the dog, now that ain’t right.
Or when he looks at me with wonder every time he catches me in the toilet pissing, as he tries to grab the yellow waterfall to the point my aim for the loo keeps missing.
Too scared to cough let alone fart when he falls asleep in my arms at night, trying hard not to wake him up by holding him so tight.
On the odd occasion he’s under the weather letting tears fall from his eyes like mine so blue, I find myself lost, unable to help his pain, I end up crying too I have to constantly watch every vulgar word that escapes my sewer like gob,
Then I look at him smiling, realising fatherhood is definitely the most inspiring job.